16th January, 2017
It finally snowed in England. How exiting, I couldn't help but to go outside and have a snow fight with my fiancé and our bulldog Laya. Yes those are the type of things I do at seven months of being pregnant. But how could I not, it snows like once a decade in this country.. Anyway let's get to the point. There are two types of professional bloggers, there is them and there is me. Their eyebrows are always at their fleekiest, outfits always at their pointiest.. And here I am with my rainbow shape eyebrows, a jacket that I've clearly grew out of about 7 years ago and my man's socks on, skipping another blogger meeting because I rather play in the snow with my family..
They post photos without any make up and look cute. No way! When I tried doing that in a collaboration with one beauty company, I looked like I've tried every possible drag on Earth.
The food in their Instagram photos is usually some next level posh cuisine. Not at all, if it ain't a shot of greasy pizza with double cheese or KFC bucket than it ain't nothing at all.
They eat lunch together at Harrods drinking from a porcelain tea cups. Never! In bed on Instagram, snuggled up in my 'mermaid' blanket purchased from China store for $99, trying to figure out what the hell on Earth 'on fleek' actually means..
They schedule their post one month in advance. I schedule mine a night before, often in Mc Donald's or Burger King whist biting on a fat big mac.
Their photos have the right amount of lighting, jewellery, Jo Malone candles and other unnecessary shits. Nah, hardly any lighting in barely renovated house, Primark candles because life is too expensive to be buying crap just for one photo.
They always attend blogger meetings and events. Ain't nobody got time for that, I'm not trying to make friends here, I'm about making money. Plus I ain't missing Jeremy Kyle episodes just to go to a blogger event.
Their Instagram profiles look like British Vogue. Hmm, photos of pets or selfies with over lined lipstick, because I can't apply lipsticks for shit, is what you'll find on my Instagram.
Bottom line: Be yourself. Don't ever try fitting in. I still receive hundreds of collaboration offers on a daily basis and I have very dedicated and loyal readers, bearing in mind I swear a lot in my posts, cover very controversial, sometimes weird or completely irrelevant topics, I am not your perfect 'typical' blogger, I am me. Thank you for all your support and for accepting me for who I am. :-)
P.s. Yes, Laya is wearing my top in these photos..